The Secret in Our Basement
I have a confession. Here we are, on the evening of January 23rd, and The Electrician and I have not yet taken down our Christmas tree. I’m sure we’re not the only folks who are festive long beyond the time it’s appropriate to be so, but it’s a little embarrassing nonetheless.
Normally, people take down their trees some time around the New Year. Since I puked my way to a six pound weight loss over the first three days of 2013, the tree was an insignificant detail. Launching more or less immediately into final exams at school has also interfered with my ability (and energy levels) and has further fueled my procrastination. I suppose I should get a bit of a free pass, considering how many hours I’ve spent at my kitchen table, marking, over the last few weeks. In my limited “free” time, I’ve decided to perform such frivolous tasks as washing clothes and exercising, rather than dealing with the artificial shrubbery.
I think Chinese New Year is approaching, though, so maybe we’ll try breaking down our tree for the occasion. Welcome, year of the snake: so long, reign of the fake tree.
Here’s the problem: I don’t know where to put all the baubles once we take them off the tree. I’m reluctant to just shove them in a box, particularly our childhood ornaments; I’m also hoping to avoid a three-day commitment of sorting wires and ribbons if I just toss the cheapo Wal-Mart trimmings we selected into a plastic bin, which was my first instinct. Images of my hands cut and bleeding from the perilous future wire sorting process are also clear in my imagination. I think our best plan will be to wrap the breakable things in newsprint, take the wires off the balls, and roll the lights up. That or buy a huge garbage bag to plunk the thing in, fully assembled, so I just have to take the plastic off have it ready to rock for next December.
Now I just need the time and energy to do that.
Is there a service that comes to a person’s home and takes down her Christmas tree? Sort of like a housekeeper who just clears away the holiday rubble? Does anyone live within reasonable driving distance who loves putting things away exactly where they should go? I will provide the tea and cookies if you want to come take care of business. Dog smooches will also be provided free of charge.
At least we had the foresight to set it up in the basement, where the only people who know about it live here.
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