The Electrician and I welcomed fraternal twin daughters on January 14, 2019. For now, I will continue to refer to them as Alfalfa and Broccoli in my writing, since we all have pseudonyms on my blog. Our girls are healthy, gorgeous, and more wonderful than we could ever have anticipated.
I will share more about their births and the joyful conclusion of our quest through gestational surrogacy in another piece.
We are currently finding our way through the hazy, blissful days of learning to parent infants. Bums, bottles, bed: repeat. If I have to be awake much of the night, there’s no other humans I’d rather spend the wee hours with.
A number of people have commented that I haven’t published any writing about our children yet. True. The Electrician and I have been so incredibly blessed and humbled by the arrival of our girls; I have been struggling to express the gravity of this experience. Words fail me, and that doesn’t happen often.
You’re finally reading this today because I’ve gathered what’s in my heart and on my (joyful, sleepy) mind enough to share it. This is your warning that this piece may result in strong emotions from the sensitive among you. If you think you may need Kleenex, I suggest you get some now.
Expectant parents reflect upon the traits they hope their their children will inherit long before they meet their little ones in person. Imagining a tiny human with green eyes like me or a smile like their daddy has helped me slog through the rougher parts of this draining process. I hoped our children would be steady and patient like their father, and that they would inherit artistic ability (come on, music!) from me.
It’s a normal thing for parents-to-be to think about the qualities of the people they love and admire best, and to imagine how those characteristics might be passed on to their babies. I have done that since our girls were each 100 cells total, long before we knew they were female, while they were housed in the tiniest of straws and sealed in a freezer.
This time last year, Alfalfa and Broccoli lived like Elsa in itty bitty straws number eleven and thirteen. We don’t know who was where, but it’s amazing to think about how far they’ve come.
Both my husband and I are fortunate to be related by DNA to many admirable people, and to have a genetic family tree full of humans we would be proud for our daughters to take after.
Every family also includes members related by choice and because of love. Alfalfa and Broccoli are here because of love, faith, and science. They are also here because of two incredible humans.
That’s why, in addition to their blood relatives, I hope our treasured girls take after their Auntie and Uncle Pelican.
When I was finally able to verbalize some of my feelings, I wrote our little girls this letter:
There are multiple people in your lives you will look up to, and so many of them will be excellent choices for role models. My hope is that you are also inspired by your auntie and uncle to be the best human beings you can be, since they are, without doubt, two of the best people we could ask for in our children’s lives.
I hope, like your auntie and uncle, you have the tenacity to endure when your experiences challenge you beyond what you think you can handle. In moments of doubt, I hope you remember that doing remarkable things is within your ability and your strength.
I hope you can use humour to navigate the weird and surprising experiences life holds for you. It takes both patience and wisdom to see the lighter sides of situations that test us. When you’re (much) older, we’ll tell you about some of the things we joked with Auntie and Uncle Pelican about while you were gestating.
When you find the human you want to spend your life with, I hope you dedicate yourself to building a love and a life with your partner that gives you shelter in the difficult moments, courage in the frightening moments, and joy in every moment in between. As your auntie and uncle do, please strive to be the kind of person who supports and encourages your partner, even when life takes you down roads you never expect to navigate.
Leaving you in your auntie and uncle’s care until you grew strong enough to come home to us required a trust that can’t be quantified; still, we never doubted they would keep you safe. I hope you will also be the kind of individuals that can be trusted with certainty, and that others find peace in knowing you will keep your word.
Love blooms in the tiniest of gestures as well as in magnificent acts that defy words. Like your beloved Auntie and Uncle Pelican, I hope, when you see the people around you struggling, you consider helping where you can. I hope that you, my daughters, become people who will cultivate powerful love in your heart, not to keep it for yourself, but to give compassionately and selflessly to others. The choice to love is always yours.
Our sweet girls, we believed in you before you were on your way, and we loved you long before we met. We are forever grateful to Auntie and Uncle Pelican for the incredible gifts of you.
copyright 2019: http://www.bluespeckledpup.com