When I was about eleven, I had a white cotton Fido Dido t-shirt. It was, quite possibly, the greatest t-shirt of my life.

Do you remember Fido Dido? You might know him from his days selling 7up on television and in magazines.

Yeah, I’m sure that’s a copyrighted image, so I’m going to give a shoutout to Joanna Ferrone and Sue Rose, who created the happy stickishman. Fido Dido always had that smooth, cool attitude that belongs only to those who don’t try to be cool. Some people just are cool; trying has nothing to do with it. I have never been cool, but I’m okay with that.

That shirt had the greatest phrase ever for a curlyhead like me. Under an image of Fido Dido hard at work with a comb and hairspray, it read: “How can I control my life when I can’t even control my hair?” As a girl who wrestles with her hair on a daily basis, that slogan spoke to me. Actually, it didn’t really speak to me: instead, it erected a giant billboard with sirens, flashing lights, and a dancing elephant show that drew me in like a pregnant woman to the last public restroom for six hundred highway miles. I had to have that shirt.

My Fido Dido t-shirt, which I wore until the cotton became thin enough to border on indecency, is one of the pieces of my childhood wardrobe I wore until there was nothing left of it. I think we all had things like that when we were younger. Think for a minute about your favourite thing to wear in those days.

Mine was cooler.

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