Sassy Boots

I have been dreaming of boots lately. My initial reaction might be to blame the temperature outdoors, which is dropping notably by the day in preparation for (freaking) winter, but cold weather boots haven’t been on my mind. What this woman needs is a pair of sassy boots: we’re talking a nice sleek (but not stiletto because I’ll die) heel, with a smoothly rounded toe and at least two silver buckles per foot. They really should be red, but I would also consider a neutral grey with a nice texture.

Imagine my thrill when I found out Nordstrom now ships to Canada and offers Canadian conversions directly on the website. Have you seen the boots at Nordstrom? Oh sweet Hannah, that is the place for boots. It might just be my Canadian shopping deprivation, but I made the mistake of browsing the boots at Nordstrom’s webpage this weekend.

After leafing through a few (virtual) pages of very high topped footwear, including some many boots that were clearly out of my price range, I was beginning to lose hope. That’s when I saw them, two buckles, perfect heels, and all, practically glowing on my laptop screen. Don’t argue with me that the laptop screen glows as a matter of function, because this isn’t the kind of day to pick a fight, but there they were. The angel music resonated like it does in television commercials for the softest toilet paper or for that fancy yogurt that’s supposed to give me faithfully regular bowels. The search was over!

Since I’m very cheap careful with my finances, I was cautious that the boots at Nordstrom would be priced beyond the realm of my salary. My perfect boots were clearly meant to be when I saw the price: $137.99. If you gasped when you saw that price, please understand that I don’t consider $138 cheap for footwear on any day of the week: my plan is to make a serious investment in a pair of quality boots I can wear for a decade. After all, strutting around in those puppies for $13.79 a year is much closer to my price range.

I ran to the kitchen to grab my wallet and my Visa, so I could lock down a pair of five and a halfs before someone else stole them right out from under me. Stores stock far fewer of the less common sizes, the really bigs and the really littles, and I knew better than to wait on the perfect boots, lest they disappear into someone else’s closet. I added the beautiful, beautiful boots to my shopping basket, and hit “checkout” while I looked under my library and Sephora cards for my Visa.

Then the bottom fell abruptly out of my sassy boot dreams. The total in my checkout was over a thousand dollars! Sputtering and nearly wetting myself, I investigated, worried I’d put eight pairs in my basket instead of just one. Crushingly, there was only one pair on my order. Those perfect boots cost close to fourteen hundred dollars. As in almost a whole mortgage payment. Apparently, the glee in my heart over those gorgeous boots, and a very unfortunately-placed smudge on my glasses, meant that I saw a price tag of $137.99: the actual price was $1379.99. For the mathematicians in the crowd, that’s almost seven hundred dollars per boot. I couldn’t even afford the buckles on those things. It’s okay if you really did pee yourself. I did not that long ago, and I’m pretty cool.

Needless to say, I did not purchase those sassy dream boots. It’s okay: at that price, I bet they’re made of rhinoceros eyelid leather and lined with the fur of endangered baby lemurs. Refusing to by them is a matter of principal, truly. Every now and then, though, I pop over to the Nordstrom website to visit and blow them kisses.

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10 Comments Add yours

  1. lexy3587 says:

    aww… i hate those moments. you find the perfect… anything… and then find out that they’re too pricey to be perfect at all 😦

    1. It’s true. Luckily, I start thinking the people who spend enough to create a (crazy) market for those boots are the ones with the problems, not that I’m punishingly poor.

  2. Leslie says:

    Try Elizabeth Ann Shoes……and look for Purse n’ Boots……the designer is from Calgary. I was thrilled when I found these. The boots have a built in purse!! in the boot!! easy heel, and a little butterfly on the boot if I’m not mistaken.

    1. Thanks for the tip! I dig names that include puns, and I think Purse ‘n Boots might be a winner.

  3. tamarapaulin says:

    WHAT!?!?! $1400 for boots? For mere mortal feet? I feel sick! I’m so glad you didn’t buy them. I know people who can’t afford such things, but still talk about $400 jeans like they might get a pair anyways. I’m sure there are differences in workmanship, but there’s just no way. (Says the girl who still wears a pair of shoes that are older than her marriage.)

    1. I know! And while I have truly lovely feet and no shame about sharing that, there can’t possibly be feet out there worth that kind of money. I am also a shoe saver: I still have the shoes I bought five years ago on sale at Army and Navy that I can’t bear to part with. They’re Rocket Dogs, but still.

      1. tamarapaulin says:

        I don’t know what Rocket Dogs are, but I’d buy them too, with a name like that! I bet those expensive boots didn’t have a cool-ass name.

      2. Google them, Tamara! Rocket Dogs are amazing, and they are really, really comfy if you buy the right models. I can’t remember what brand the pricey boots were: when I try to recall, all I hear are cash register sounds.

  4. Geez! That is crazy! I thought $138 was perfectly reasonable. Thank goodness you checked before hitting the final confirmation button!

    1. It really is nuts! I don’t think I have spent that much on shoes total over the last six years of having a grown up job. I get a little chill just thinking about it.

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