I have been dreaming of boots lately. My initial reaction might be to blame the temperature outdoors, which is dropping notably by the day in preparation for (freaking) winter, but cold weather boots haven’t been on my mind. What this woman needs is a pair of sassy boots: we’re talking a nice sleek (but not stiletto because I’ll die) heel, with a smoothly rounded toe and at least two silver buckles per foot. They really should be red, but I would also consider a neutral grey with a nice texture.
Imagine my thrill when I found out Nordstrom now ships to Canada and offers Canadian conversions directly on the website. Have you seen the boots at Nordstrom? Oh sweet Hannah, that is the place for boots. It might just be my Canadian shopping deprivation, but I made the mistake of browsing the boots at Nordstrom’s webpage this weekend.
After leafing through a few (virtual) pages of very high topped footwear, including
some many boots that were clearly out of my price range, I was beginning to lose hope. That’s when I saw them, two buckles, perfect heels, and all, practically glowing on my laptop screen. Don’t argue with me that the laptop screen glows as a matter of function, because this isn’t the kind of day to pick a fight, but there they were. The angel music resonated like it does in television commercials for the softest toilet paper or for that fancy yogurt that’s supposed to give me faithfully regular bowels. The search was over!
Since I’m very
cheap careful with my finances, I was cautious that the boots at Nordstrom would be priced beyond the realm of my salary. My perfect boots were clearly meant to be when I saw the price: $137.99. If you gasped when you saw that price, please understand that I don’t consider $138 cheap for footwear on any day of the week: my plan is to make a serious investment in a pair of quality boots I can wear for a decade. After all, strutting around in those puppies for $13.79 a year is much closer to my price range.
I ran to the kitchen to grab my wallet and my Visa, so I could lock down a pair of five and a halfs before someone else stole them right out from under me. Stores stock far fewer of the less common sizes, the really bigs and the really littles, and I knew better than to wait on the perfect boots, lest they disappear into someone else’s closet. I added the beautiful, beautiful boots to my shopping basket, and hit “checkout” while I looked under my library and Sephora cards for my Visa.
Then the bottom fell abruptly out of my sassy boot dreams. The total in my checkout was over a thousand dollars! Sputtering and nearly wetting myself, I investigated, worried I’d put eight pairs in my basket instead of just one. Crushingly, there was only one pair on my order. Those perfect boots cost close to fourteen hundred dollars. As in almost a whole mortgage payment. Apparently, the glee in my heart over those gorgeous boots, and a very unfortunately-placed smudge on my glasses, meant that I saw a price tag of $137.99: the actual price was $1379.99. For the mathematicians in the crowd, that’s almost seven hundred dollars per boot. I couldn’t even afford the buckles on those things. It’s okay if you really did pee yourself. I did not that long ago, and I’m pretty cool.
Needless to say, I did not purchase those sassy dream boots. It’s okay: at that price, I bet they’re made of rhinoceros eyelid leather and lined with the fur of endangered baby lemurs. Refusing to by them is a matter of principal, truly. Every now and then, though, I pop over to the Nordstrom website to visit and blow them kisses.
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