Pavement Poultry.

The Electrician is making a turkey tonight for a little Thanksgiving gathering of his friends. He had a similar gathering last year, and it was a lovely time for all involved.

Tonight’s meal will be different than the family one on the weekend largely because of the turkey. I’m not necessarily a traditionalist, but right now The Electrician is preparing a turkey in a way I can’t wrap my head around:

1. He’s cooking it on the driveway.

2. He’s cooking it without stuffing.

3. He’s cooking it in a deep fryer.

While there isn’t anything necessarily wrong with preparing a turkey this way, it seems sort of strange. For one, it only takes about 40 minutes to cook a 15 pound bird, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Also, though, The Electrician had to purchase something like 12 litres of canola oil to fill the fryer. Blech. I’m old school when it comes to poultry and grew up waiting for the bird to hit the table at dinner after roasting slowly and smelling divine all day. Bread stuffing is also one of my favourite foods, especially the way my mom makes it, with lots of bacon and onion, so a hollow bird makes me sad. Either way, it’s The Electrician’s bird and The Electrician’s friends, and I’m letting him cook without my interference. I’ll pitch in by doing the dishes up later on.

I have at theory about men and deep fried turkey, because I’ve noticed that men get really fired up about firing up the turkey pot whenever they get the opportunity. Deep frying is akin to barbequing, traditionally a men’s pursuit, since both approaches turn raw meat into dinner with highly flammable gas and the careful application of combustion. Really barbaric, really. They’re also both really dangerous under the wrong conditions, although I am pretty sure deep fryers are far more dangerous. YouTube has videos to prove it!

Frying a turkey also requires only the most basic cooking skills, unlike the multistep procedure required to roast one with all the trimmings. A deep fried bird does not require stuffing, or gravy. Anything a person tries to season it with just falls off in the fryer, so it’s basically thaw, rinse, pat dry (so the oil doesn’t pop up and burn folks) then carve that puppy (chicky?) up. This is a no-nonsense approach to Thanksgiving, indeed. For a no-nonsense person like my sweetie, it makes sense.

I still don’t get it, probably because I am a cook who likes the fussy little minutiae of preparing schmancy dinners. I suppose this weekend, I’ll get the best of both worlds: turkey “tough guy” style tonight, prepared in boiling oil like the idiots who stormed fortified palaces many centuries ago, and turkey roasted by my little momma on Sunday. Tonight, a bird fried on the concrete; Sunday, another wedged into my grandma’s smaller than average wall oven.

Either way, turkey = yum

I heard a rumour there might even be apple pie, which delights me to no end.

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. tamarapaulin says:

    I wonder if your American blog friends are confused by why you’re doing turkey this weekend. 🙂

    I’m pretty excited that he’s excited about cooking the turkey. Sometimes all it takes is a little tech!

    1. I like Canadian Thanksgiving: it’s a pleasing distance between Labour Day and Christmas. The Electrician really does get excited about the things he cooks. The man has a small but enthusiastically developed repetoire.

  2. Cinderella says:

    Comparing the taste of the one he makes and the one your Momma makes will be interesting, Kay.

    1. So far, his was extremely moist this year; they get better with more experience on his part. Mom’s will taste like hers always does. I think I’ll be a turkey purist, largely due to the stuffing and gravy factors.

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