Mammal Mondays: Rolling Stoned

We all know Leroy is getting through life on looks. If intellect is a race, Leroy is not the guy who crosses the finish line last, sunburned and wondering why everyone else has gone home. Truly, in such a race, Leroy would be the guy who shows up a day late, wearing a fur coat and swimming fins. The poor guy just doesn’t get what’s going on half the time, but at least he makes up for it by being so darn pretty handsome and by being so eager to share his affection with every man, woman, beast, and bag of groceries he encounters.

This super long weekend, when I have four glorious days off, Leroy has been thrilled to have his momma home with him for such a long stretch. No sooner do I sit and create a lap than he finds a way to weasel snuggle up to me. While I appreciate his affection, I also have a disheartening amount of school work to accomplish over the Victoria Day Weekend, and Leroy’s neediness threatens to put a serious crimp in my productivity. I can’t afford to get behind right now, so finding a solution for Leroy’s case of the weekend clingies became critical.

The Electrician helped a little bit.

The headlock is always a potential approach.

Sadly, The Electrician’s long weekend has been split between some sort of flu bug and overtime shifts at work. In dealing with Leroy, I’ve largely been on my own.

Today, staring down the barrel of a good eight or ten hours at my kitchen table with schoolwork, I needed to bring out the big guns. I tried spritzing Leroy’s favourite spot on the backdoor mat (the one in the sunbeam) with a little honeysuckle spray, a.k.a. Calvin Feline’s Obsession for cats. That bit of botanically extracted magic bought me ten minutes without my hairy lapwarmer.

The camera confuses him. Then again, spoons confuse him.

After pulling Leroy off my stack of provincial exams for the third time, I decided to reach for my last resort. I keep a little vial of extra-strength catnip in my fridge, which never fails to arouse curious looks from guests who go searching for their own condiments. I sprinkled it liberally over Leroy’s spot in the sunbeam. This is Alberta, however, so the sunbeam has been intermittent today.

Leroy sprang off the kitchen table and trotted to the herbal remedy strewn across the carpet. His nostrils twitched three times, and he fell heavily to his side like a cat struck by lightning. He purred with a tempo and resonance rarely heard around here, even from our champion rumbler.

The cat on the mat went splat and lay flat.

Since I dosed him with the ‘nip, Leroy has gone from affectionate and docile to possessing all the get up and go of an overripe banana. I don’t like to give him catnip very often, since getting stoned on his favourite herb tends to leave him far more liquid than solid and he’s out of it for the better part of the day. Luckily for me, this remedy allowed me to get two solid hours of marking in this afternoon.

I’m not certain, but I have reason to believe he sees me in stereo right now.

I’m just hoping Leroy will be able to uncross his eyes eventually. It’s hard to determine a dose of these things.

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7 Comments Add yours

  1. Lynn says:

    Leroy is adorable and your narrative is hilarious. My folks dose their kitties up once in awhile and they wind up laying around like furry sides of beef. Too cute!

    1. Thanks Lynn. I’m going to tell Leroy he looks like “a side of beef” the next time I dose him with the catnip. What a hilarious (and apt) description.

  2. I love “spoons confuse him”! Very funny post! I had no idea that honeysuckle spray attracted cats. Interesting piece of trivia!

    1. We buy honeysuckle in spray form as well as dried like catnip. It tends to make him happy and mellow, unlike the catnip that makes him a space cadet.

  3. I have a cat crush on Leroy! I spend much of my day with an orange cat sitting on my keyboard tray, between the keyboard and mouse. He can be quite needy, but Husband points out we’re codependent and I like it.

    1. I doubt your kitty thinks he’s needy; he’s likely of the opinion that you are blessed by his presence. Housecats are small creatures by necessity, because if their bodies were as big as their personalities, they would literally smother us.

      1. HAHAH! It’s true! Any bigger and they’d be outlawed as pets.

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