From Behind Fortress Walls


Spring greetings, all you lovely humans.

I know I’ve been away from my keyboard for what seems like forever. Let me share a little of what I’ve been up to while my little blog has been on publishing pause.

Primarily, The Electrician and I have been building our marriage into a fortress. Perhaps referring to our relationship in this way seems a little hyperbolic, and I’ll admit we are rather enthusiastic Game of Thrones fans, but let me explain.

Although we are only coming up on our fourth wedding anniversary this August, my spectacular husband and I have been through a lot of crap in the last few years. We promised each other on in our marriage vows to make our relationship our “place of rest,” and we’ve worked diligently to keep it that way.

In my head, an often a rather interesting place that isn’t easily navigated without a tour guide, or at the very least some detailed subtitles, our marriage is our fortress. Metaphorically, keeps us safe while life chucks everything it has at us, which it certainly has over the last few years. Just when you think life is going to take a rest or maybe stop hurling itself at your walls, it builds itself a bigger trebuchet and lights the ammunition on fire. Sometimes it writes insulting notes and flings them over your gates, just for funsies.

A short highlights list of the things our little fortress has gotten us through while I’ve been away from my blog:

  • a grandparent suffering from dementia
  • a parent diagnosed with and treated for cancer (treated successfully, thank the Gods, the angels, and all things holy)
  • another grandparent diagnosed with dementia, this time the extra horrid dementia that makes a person violent and requires special hospitalization
  • a new job for me
  • many layoffs in the company The Electrician has worked for: he thankfully remains employed
  • a beloved family member navigating a painful and bumpy divorce
  • a different, also much-loved, family member widowed and discovering the will had secretly been changed to exclude her
  • an official diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome for me
  • a third grandparent diagnosed with dementia (that’s three of three living grandparents, if you’re a numbers-type person)
  • our decision to pursue parenthood, which is a very intense discussion for another post
  • a grandparent (dementia case #1) breaking a hip badly enough that the doctor offered to just keep her comfortable-ish until she passed (we opted to operate and saved her)
  • an ovarian cancer scare for me
  • a completed employment contract, and another new job for me
  • selling The Dollhouse and learning we’d been screwed over twice in one day–and the day happened to be my 33rd birthday
  • moving to our new home and immediately undertaking major renovations

Whoa, right?

Through all these trials, our marriage has been a source of strength and comfort. It’s rather like surveying the landscape over our ramparts some days, seeing what is coming our way and feeling confident we can survive it together. We’re not quite blowing raspberries at our challenges and responding with Monty Python-esque quips, but most days we’re at the point where we can say, “Well, that sucked,” and brace ourselves with courage for the next onslaught. We’re plucky like that.

Side bar: I’m sitting on the couch just now, typing away, and The Electrician sits opposite from me on the love seat. He has been asking for the longest time when I’m going to start blogging again, so I grin at him and say, “Can you guess what I’m doing right now?”

“Kegels?” he responds. Luckily, because I actually do work on my pelvic floor, I do not pee on our new couch from all the laughing. Our fortress is not a bleak and humourless structure, thankfully.

Now, lest you think we have nothing to do but gripe about what life has brought us lately, we have been incredibly blessed in so many ways. I’m going to be writing about those things at length in upcoming days. For now, I leave you a picture of our newest family member.

IMG_3470.jpg

This is Ava, our floofy princess. She’s a momma’s girl, a fierce defender of our home, and a vegetable fiend. She’s also a rescue mutt, our favourite kind.

Until next time, friends.

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