The last time I spoke to our case manager at the fertility clinic, she told me the blood work was excellent and indicated a strong pregnancy. Our baby was due October 28.
For several weeks, we planned for the child that was finally, finally on the way, our PiP (Person in Progress). We made PiP jokes. We told our families and our closest friends and we celebrated PiP together. I really can’t express the joy I felt.
Every time I started to worry something could go wrong, I talked through my pregnancy mantra: “PiP is safe. PiP is healthy. PiP is strong.” I applied the power of positive thinking with everything I had.
We knew the first trimester makes no promises, but when a couple has been waiting more than four and a half years for a pregnancy, every day of gestation feels like a miracle.
Every day of gestation was a miracle.
PiP died about 6 weeks into pregnancy. Miscarriage was medically confirmed shortly after.
We have so many questions that will not be answered in this lifetime.
But there are things that are clear:
PiP was deeply wanted, loved, and treasured, even if they couldn’t stay.
Auntie Stork kept PiP safe, cosy, and surrounded by love for our baby’s entire lifetime, and that gives me peace. We are so very grateful to her.
I read recently that grief does not travel alone, but can only follow love. We are grieving deeply because we had such love for a child who cannot be.
So many were hoping and praying for PiP. We are wrapped in the love of the people who care about us, and it bring us comfort. Thank you for that.