Mammal Mondays: Rolling Stoned

We all know Leroy is getting through life on looks. If intellect is a race, Leroy is not the guy who crosses the finish line last, sunburned and wondering why everyone else has gone home. Truly, in such a race, Leroy would be the guy who shows up a day late, wearing a fur coat…

Mammal Mondays: Mr. High and Mighty

Things at school are bananas right now, since the year is winding to a close and district and provincial assessments are raining down on my kids. It follows, then, that I don’t have much time for anything but work right now. The dishes in my sink are absolute proof of my current schedule. Leroy, however,…

Mammal Mondays: Leroy Sleeps Around

I lost my cat on Saturday night. You know the one. After our movie finished, The Electrician dropped me off at the dollhouse at about midnight. He still had a trip out to the airport to pick up his brother from a late-night return flight from Cancun, so he smooched me goodnight on the doorstep…

An Utter Lack of Support

As all travelers know, washing the dirty laundry that has accumulated during the trip is one of the uglier aspects of returning home. I tackled mine as soon as the airport returned my missing luggage, which was a triumph of will indeed, considering I just wanted to sleep, not separate the lights from the darks….

Mammal Mondays: Homecoming Scenes

Without a doubt, one of the hardest things about being far, far away from home is missing my boys. While The Electrician and I were overseas, Sherman stayed at the kennel, and Leroy hung out at the dollhouse, with regular visits from my bestie Miss Sassy and her boyfriend, Comic Book Fan. Before I had…

Mammal Mondays: In Your Face

Leroy is the kind of cat who must, and I do mean must, be next to–preferably on top of–his people at all times. Some might call it affection, but I’m convinced Leroy’s clinginess is actually his way of claiming ownership of me. He was up to his usual tricks yesterday, fighting my MacBook for the…

Mammal Mondays: Hairballs, Supersized

Leroy is a lover, not a fighter (usually). This means he loves to kiss everyone, anytime, anywhere. Things get particularly awkward when he decides he would like to join me for a cuddle in the bath and perches on the edge of my soaker tub, attempting to lick my shoulder and totally oblivious to the…

Mammal Mondays: The Cat Who Just Sat

Generally, people who come to visit make a comment about something in their friend’s house that’s changed since the last rendezvous. In the best case scenarios, those comments go like this. “I love the colour you chose for the bathroom! It’s such a refreshing shade of purple.” “Oh, wow. Where did you get that painting?…

Mammal Mondays: My Boys Are My Kids

You know, it’s funny how people substitute their pets for children. I’ve seen dog after dog dressed up in tacky little outfits. I’ve seen people hauling yorkshire terriers through Costco and folks in McDonald’s drive through ordering cheeseburgers for their newfoundlands. Many times people’s dogs have lunged and barked at me, only to have their…

Mammal Mondays: Lounge Lizards

There is a slight problem in the dollhouse of late. It’s been building for some time, but it’s now perfectly clear: Sherman and Leroy are leeches. They just want to lay about the house while I do all the cooking, cleaning and cat box scooping.¬†Behold: Yesterday, I marked exams and planned lessons and did other…

Mammal Mondays: Yeah, Definitely a Monday

“Definitely” is one of the few words I actually have to think about to spell correctly. I always relate it to “define” in my mind; there is no “a” in that bad boy. So ends today’s English teacher moment: on with Mammal Monday! One of the best things about coming home from work on a…

Cat Pants

During the financial crisis of late 2011, when my former tenant stopped paying rent –forcing me to evict her– and it took me six weeks to secure a new renter for my basement suite, I bought nothing unnecessary. I prettied myself up in the morning with a gunky partially-dry mascara. I ate the half frost-burned…