Paw Repair

Wednesday marks an event that has been a long time coming. I’m finally getting my hand repaired! The nerves in both my paws were damaged when I was rear-ended in June 2008 and pushed into another car, and I’ve had three years of conservative treatment with no improvement. So, finally, after three years of numbness, achiness, and extra-fun clumsiness, I am having surgery to (hopefully) fix the right paw.

I’ve booked two weeks’ medical leave to recover from my little procedure, and I have spent the last handful of days frantically getting stuff together for the teacher who is teaching in my place. I guess that’s the thing about teaching: it’s one of the few jobs where getting ready to be away is more work than actually being at work.

One less than thrilling detail for me about this procedure is the fact that I’ll be awake through the whole thing. Apparently, the surgeon will just inject local anesthetic to make my paw numb; then, he goes to work while I’m lying there trying not to wet myself. I hate needles. I hate stupid needles almost as much as I hate spiders. If syringes had hairy legs and beady eyes, I’d despise them the same amount, but the spider comes out on top for now. Ick. Gag. Bleh.

The last week has been rough because I’m doing lots of extra school work, planning, document building, and marking, to get ready for my medical leave, so my dominant hand has been getting way too much additional work. To add to the issue, I’m not allowed to take any drugs that fight inflammation (like Advil) for seven days before my procedure, and my overworked hands are exceptionally angry. Right now, they remind me of belligerent rhinoceroes: they refuse to do what they are told, and are clumsy and way too awkward to do anything delicate with, like applying eyeliner. Really, though, I doubt that a rhinoceros would wear eyeliner, and not just because of their lack of opposable thumbs. They seem to have the loveliest eyes in the animal kingdom, next to the giraffe, and eyeliner really would be gilding the lily.

Don’t be too hard on my if my blog posts are shorter than usual for a while: I’ll be doing the best I can with one paw until the right one heals up.

Please think happy, brave girl thoughts for me around noon on June 1st. When it comes to hospital stuff, I’m such a wuss. I’ve been having nightmares about things going sharply sideways during the procedure, so that I end up with a hook a la the famous captain who’s not on a rum bottle.

I’m crossing my fingers while I still can.

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