I’m writing today’s wee post as I wait for my nails to dry. As much as getting ready to go out as a woman is about action –applying whatever kind of goop, scent or colour a particularly body part requires– it’s also about waiting for one step to dry or set or absorb so you can continue with the rest.

Today, in addition to waiting for my nailpolish, I’ve waited or will be waiting for:

1. My body to soak in the tub long enough to shave my legs properly. (ten minutes)

2. The time my face wash recommends for effective cleansing. (one minute)

3. My deep conditioner to soak in. (four minutes)

4. My ugly purple (blue at one time) hair towel, to absorb enough water from my curls. (eight minutes)

5. The new moisturizer –one I’m not allergic to– to absorb into my face. (fifteen minutes)

6. The orange scented body butter to soak into my skin before I get dressed so I don’t feel greasy. (six minutes)

7. My nail polish to harden up. (so far, twelve minutes)

8. My face and eyelid primer to dry so I can start my makeup and have it last all night. (four minutes).

9. My curls to dry enough that I can pull some of them off my face for party hair. (two hours)

 

By my estimation, I’ll be devoting three hours today to just waiting. Mind you, I will be overlapping some of my tasks so I’m not waiting and staring uselessly at the wall, but the number is rather astounding. That’s three hours of not actually getting pretty, but just waiting for stuff to happen so getting pretty becomes an option.

What kills me is that The Electrician will have a quick shower to wash his pits and bits, dry off, spritz on cologne, smear on anti-perspirant, and put on his socks, manties, and suit. Total estimated prep time for the man to be party ready: seventeen minutes.

I argue that women are not the weaker sex. We are the far, far more patient sex.

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note: For the ladies out there who scoffed at my mention of makeup primers: you have no idea what you’re missing my friends.