Old Lady Undergarments


Some time just before Christmas, I lost my old lady brassiere. That’s my affectionate term for my plain beige bra. Every girl needs one of these rather boring undergarments, which I believe would have been called “serviceable” had it existed a hundred years ago. An old lady brassiere is like toast. Sort of brown, rather bland and forgettable, yet appropriate in many scenarios.

It might sound like a minor inconvenience to lose your least extravagant underthing, but believe me when I say missing the damn thing put a huge kink in my wardrobe choices. Since the only other two options I own are black or blue and green leopard, I have been wearing only black and dark grey clothes. That leaves me with about five outfits total. I’ve been running around looking like an undertaker, or, incidentally, one of the women who actually works at La Senza.

Finally, I found the missing bra while I was ripping part my bedroom looking for a piece of paper I need to find far more than an article of clothing. It was wedged behind Sherman’s kennel, stuck between the plastic and the wall. I don’t think I’ve been so excited in my life to see a sad, stretched out beige piece of fabric and metal in my life.

The old lady brassiere, my friends. It’s a necessary, mediocre part of life. Mine, unfortunately, smells like dog farts at the moment after being being trapped behind the kennel.

I guess I’ll be wearing a black t-shirt again tomorrow.

copyright 2012:  http://bluespeckledpup.com

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5 Comments Add yours

  1. I agree wholeheartedly that the old lady brassiere is an essential wardrobe item. I’m glad you found yours, so you can expand your fashion choices once again!

  2. Cinderella says:

    Hello to you and Sherman, Kay,
    Glad you found it. Sounds like it is in the washing machine now, and will smell fresh as downy tomorrow!
    Nothing says comfort like an old favorite bra:)

    1. It’s really true, you know. I hate buying new bras, because they never seem as comfy as the ones I’ve recently retired.

  3. carolrood says:

    I have two white old lady brassieres. Technically even my black one could be counted as “old lady” due to the design. Ah, such is the life of the well endowed woman…. sigh…..

    1. Sigh. My only endowment of curves is in my blue jeans. At least the junk in my trunk doesn’t need any support (yet).

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