It’s no secret I think my husband, aka The Electrician, is the greatest guy around. This weekend he saved me from a gory death in the dollhouse basement. Let me tell you how it all went down, and how Thanksgiving was almost my final day on the planet.
Just before preparing our turkey for two kinds of delightful stuffing, I realized we didn’t have a single ice cube in this house. There are a couple empty trays in our downstairs fridge, which I perpetually forget to fill. I popped downstairs to take care of the problem before I got my hands all gooky with poultry or forgot to do it all together.
The moment I twisted the tap handle in the basement kitchen sink, a hairy, nasty monster lurched up out of the drain and lunged at my hand. It’s no secret my basement grows huge spiders, and the one that launched an attack as I filled the ice cube tray was the great-grandaddy of them all. Picture the end of Arachnophobia, but put it in a basement rather than a barn. Seriously, the folks who filmed the Harry Potter movies could have just rounded up some creepy crawlers from my house rather than paying someone to build those animatronic spiders. He could have stolen four pairs of my shoes and made a break for it.
I apologize if you are suddenly feeling queasy. It’s take me a few days to calm down enough to discuss this incident, so I appreciate your deep distress at the retelling.
By a stroke of luck (or perhaps a Thanksgiving miracle) The Electrician was downstairs at the same time I attempted to make ice. He heard my startled shriek and the clatter of the plastic tray hitting the floor. For a big dude, he moves pretty fast. Based on the volume of my scream, he expected Godzilla or all the Backstreet Boys to be thrashing around in our sink instead of a spider.
While I cowered on the loveseat, my beloved went to get a paper towel. He’s remarkably calm in a crisis. I am so lucky to be married to such a brave man. When I asked him if he was sure the hideous beast had completely expired, he nodded slowly and grinned at me.
“Baby,” he assured, “I killed him so good…his grandchildren just dropped dead too.”
I am a lucky woman.
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